Every Saturday for 15 Years: Our Family’s Screen-Free Sabbath

by | Apr 14, 2020 | Uncategorized

  While the life I’ve known until now has ground to a halt, while my middle and high school children are spending their days immersed in online learning and therefore far more screen time than I’d like, while I miss visiting with my aging parents, while I think about the COVID-19 victims and first responders and health care workers and grieving families – sandwiched in all of that worry is a small oasis of calm that my family continues to embrace and celebrate each week, despite everything.

mom and two children, with olive skin and black hair  It’s what Tiffany Shlain, author of the book, 24/6: The Power of Unplugging One Day a Week, calls a Technology Shabbat, or a 24-hour sabbatical from screens. In our family, it’s just Shabbat, a day of rest from work, which runs from sundown Friday until nightfall on Saturday.

  Here’s where it has taken us, every week now for over 15 years. We have carved out, for the entire family, a day off from work and screens and external “noise,” giving rise instead to a weekly sabbatical that brings with it a sanctuary of quiet, room to be bored (which my children still need to learn is a good thing), space to think, and for my children, a lot of time for free, unstructured play with each other and with neighborhood friends.

  Until social distancing and sheltering-in-place began, our weekly Sabbath observance involved simple routines and rituals. It always begins with a celebratory Friday night dinner, all of us seated together and conversing. Since there is nowhere else to go, no scheduled activities, no homework, it’s our time for us. We usually play card games, or I’ll read aloud an interesting article (with an embedded life lesson, of course – I can’t help myself), or we play board games, even charades. There is no phone in sight, no TV on, no background noise. Just us.

  We normally spend Saturday mornings at synagogue services, followed by lunch on our own or with other families, and later on dinner as a family. But the highlight of the day is what typically takes place between lunch and dinner, something so important for my children’s social and emotional development: unstructured play (or now, just hanging out time) with each other or neighborhood friends, without screens.

  When the children were younger, I’d watch at a distance while they made and broke rules, got in arguments and resolved them, laughed raucously, moved their growing bodies, and used whatever they could find to make whatever they could imagine (magnetic tiles assembled for a gecko run, jumprope and scooter to pull each other on rides around the block, and so on). Now they play sports or wander further afield, most often together walking our dog around the neighborhood, just hanging out as a small group. There is no phone in sight, nothing captured for sharing with others, just living-in-the-moment fun.

  The magical spell breaks as soon as sundown arrives, but we keep the family together as a group just a little longer. Saturday night is still quiet (no one has a driver’s license just yet), so we wrap up our Sabbath with family movie night. Usually it’s the children’s choice, but my husband and I sneak in other movies occasionally, either classic films, historical fiction, or documentaries. We sit together on the sofa and watch, although we are a chatty bunch; but that’s OK, as memories of the conversations linger longer than the movies themselves.

  These last few Sabbaths have been a little different, of course, in the absence of services and play time with neighborhood friends. Still, the habit of spending screen-free time together means a few extra adjustments, but not much. I find there is now more time for us to read on our own and read to each other, and more time to spend outside taking walks around the neighborhood. An unintended gift of our screen-free Sabbaths is that I get a much-needed mental break from this international crisis, to recharge and be stronger for my children.

  When asked about our screen-free Sabbaths, I tell people that I can’t imagine living without a weekly sabbatical from screens. For a full day my attention is not divided between my phone and my children, and they know it. They know that on our Sabbath, my presence means I’m present and that they are my priority. I benefit too, with the sense of peace that comes with screen quiet, the extra time to devote to myself or time shared with my husband while the children are out with their friends, the unhurried pace of a day without a rigid schedule. It’s a reminder to me that our screens are tools, but that I’m master over those tools because I have the power to put them down and turn them off for an extended period of time.

  Do my children miss screen time? In the end, deep down, I don’t think so. The relentless pace of screen time, the fear of missing out, social media anxiety – who can’t use a break periodically?

  Our job as parents is to help our children grow roots and wings. My children are sprouting those wings already, as they spend increasingly more time with, and show more and more interest in, their friends. But what about the roots? I think that that is what our Screen-free Saturday is all about, time that allows me to share our family values as I tend the roots with love.

About the Author

Rinny is Outreach Coordinator for the Children’s Screen Time Action Network and an advisor for Screen-Free Week. Rinny has worked as a litigator and federal law clerk, currently volunteers for a county consumer protection agency, and previously served as a board member and marketing committee chair at a parenting nonprofit. Rinny earned a JD and a BA in Communications from the University of Pennsylvania. She and her family have celebrated Screen-Free Week for nearly 10 years!

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Screen Free Week in New Zealand: Advocacy and Sass

by | Mar 8, 2020 | Uncategorized

Miriam McCaleb is a former kindergarten teacher who taught adults at Tennessee Tech University and the Christchurch College of Education in New Zealand.  She has worked with parents, Police, and prisoners.  She writes for various parenting magazines, has contributed to journals as a writer and peer reviewer, and sporadically blogs at baby.geek.nz.  As a presenter, a highlight was the International Neurosequential Model Symposium in Canada. Lately, she’s part of a research team at the University of Canterbury, examining how women’s smartphone use changes after the birth of a baby. She’s the mother of two great girls and makes a mean courgette relish. 

When I graduated as an early childhood teacher waaaay back last century (it was 1994 and my hair was pretty massive), a wise professor told me that I should only accept my qualification if I was willing to also accept a lifelong role as an advocate for children.

Done, and done.

Advocacy isn’t easy – it doesn’t take weekends off! It might mean missing the concert because there’s a crying child who’s lost her mum and SOMEONE needs to help her. It might involve difficult conversations with intimidating people – lawmakers or other besuited professionals – because SOMEONE needs to speak up. And, in our personal lives, it could demand that we risk being identified as “That Parent”. You know the one: Captain Buzzkill. The Difficult Mother. She who raises her hand to ask about … oh, I don’t know … screen use in the classroom. I suspect that everyone reading this has found themselves – willingly or unwillingly – fulfilling that role somewhere in their lives, and questioning the gap between normal screen use and healthy screen use. Brothers and sisters, I know you’re out there!

So while my family and I have been celebrating Screen-Free Week since before it was even called that, it was always a private affair. Just a simple little week off from the telly in a happy little home. Remember how easy it used to be? Back in the day, one could just throw a jaunty scarf over the TV and be done for the week. But 2007 changed everything. Hello, smartphone! Suddenly the screens seemed to be lurking everywhere. The “weapons of mass distraction” were overtaking every corner of our lives. And as a children’s advocate, my corner is (metaphorically!) full of babies. When the addictive allure of habitual smartphone use starts impacting the parent-child relationship and therefore human development, an advocate’s gotta advocate!

One of the billboards that Canterbury, New Zealand displayed during Screen-Free Week last year due to Miriam’s advocacy.

It’s worth making a fuss because so many people are as yet unaware of the ways we are being manipulated by the people and programs on the other side of our screens. Companies whose stated goal is “time on device” exploit our psychological vulnerabilities as they serve the needs of shareholders, not us – and certainly not children. 

It smarts all the more, I think, on our South Pacific islands of New Zealand. It feels a lot like tobacco all over again: multinational corporations peddling unsavoury products and failing to disclose to our people the potential for harm done by those products. Whether the rampant consumerism of the ‘kidfluencer’ on YouTube or the dopamine deficits being manipulated by Instagram, those are imports we could do without. It’s alarming to hear little New Zealand children abandon their kiwi vernacular in favour of the American accents and lingo from kids’ cartoons, Netflix nonsense, or some Kardashian or other. It’s galling to know that right now as I type this, Google is mining the data of both of my daughters and all of their teachers at their respective NZ schools. 

Of course, it is somewhat different to tobacco, because there are benefits to tech. As far as school use is concerned, I get that tech can be an administrative boon and save teachers time. And I understand the resistance to change when many schools have invested heavily in technology. But these things are not excuses for barreling ahead with tech when the evidence suggests that children may well be better off without, and only time will tell whether the blessings of those benefits outweigh the documented downsides of our love affair with technology.

So this advocate is trying to do something big and something small – the big thing is that I have gone back to university to look really closely at what’s happening for babies in this current technological climate, and now I’m a (beginner!) health researcher. I’ll get back to you with some results later this year!

The small thing has been to come out publicly as a Screen-Free Week-er. I do a bit of professional development and speaking, so starting early in 2019, any time I was in a group I’d explain what Screen-Free Week’s all about, and invite people to join. (Handy promotional hint: get people to pledge to join in a solid 6 months out and many will commit.)

My friend & colleague Rebecca Green was fully supportive as we spread posters around our community and talked in our local school assembly. We were able to get a press release published in our local paper (along with full colour photo, on the front page!). Mother and daughter play a game during screen free weekMy husband successfully got Screen-Free Week images onto digital billboards all over Christchurch in the lead up to the week (*digital irony acknowledged*). See the gallery below. We heard from many families who joined in, and a great many conversations were started.

There’s no denying it now, friends. I’ve officially come out as That Parent. I’m grateful to Screen-Free Week for helping me to do so. I appreciate SFW for providing an existing framework, allowing straightforward promotion of a definable “thing” – a week off screens. It’s achievable for most. It’s both a conversation starter and tool for liberation. 

So far, so good. This year we’ll repeat the attempt at free local press coverage, and we plan to host a board game swap at the start of SFW. Next year we might add another layer. From little things, big things grow!

Screen-Free Week is a gentle and positive way to invite a wider community to remember what it’s like to put down the devices. Humans are social mammals, and families are the original social networks. As an advocate for children, Screen-Free Week is one of the best things you can do to rebuild those networks. It’s an easy yes.

 

 

I LOVED Screen-Free Week [2019]. I always do. My little girl learned to ride her bike without trainer wheels and I learned to play gin rummy! When it was over on Monday morning, my little girl was sad! She digs it, too!”

Miriam McCaleb

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It’s About Intention: 1000 Hours Outside Challenges Screen-Time

by | Feb 13, 2020 | Uncategorized

You’d never know that Ginny Yurich has inspired a global community by the way that she talks about herself. “I’m so normal,” she says. “There is nothing exceptional.” But the humble mom of 5 is the founder of 1000 Hours Outside, a blog and international movement to put down the screens and set an intention to go outside. 1000 Hours Outside challenges folks to get outside for just that: 1000 hours per year. Families post about their efforts in social media groups, and Ginny supports them through her writing and engagement.

photo of woman with peach skin and red hair smiling

Ginny, who grew up in Michigan, remembers the little moments about going outside. “I grew up in total suburbia. There’s an IKEA in my hometown. [It was all about] biking around the neighborhood, shoveling snow with my dad, making snow forts – those are the things that stick with me fondly.” But, it really wasn’t her own childhood outdoor experiences that inspired her to start 1000 Hours Outside. It was her challenging foray into motherhood. 

“Some people transition into being a mom pretty seamlessly, but I feel like I did not,” she says. “I was just absolutely exhausted. With a 3-year-old, 1-year-old, and a baby, I would run out of things to do by like 10 or 11 in the morning.” Being a parent to three young children was overwhelming, and it was discouraging for Ginny.

A friend was reading the works of Charlotte Mason, a homeschooling educator who believes children should be outside for 4 to 6 hours everyday, and suggested that Ginny and her kids try spending four hours outside. “I thought it was ridiculous!” says Ginny. “But I was trying to be a good friend. So, we went to a park (but not a playground), brought a picnic, and stayed there from 9 AM to 1 PM… and they played the whole time.”

Child playing in the dirt with tree cookie

Ginny couldn’t remember the last time she had done something with her children for 4 to 6 hours. “In our culture in America, everything is 30-45 minutes. You go to the church program: 30-45 minutes; you go to the moms’ program: 30-45 minutes. Everything is in a box.” Now, having stepped outside that box, Ginny felt for the first time like “maybe I will survive this stage of life.” Like motherhood was do-able. Like she could achieve balance. “It’s so silly, but I was just blown away, and it was just so restorative.”

After that first day in the fall of 2011, Ginny began to carve out the time for nature. At least three times per week, she would go with some friends and their kids to the metro Detroit area parks.

“At first, it was for me,” she says. “As a parent, you want to be in a good mental state…I finally felt like I could survive parenthood.“ And the impact on her children was visible. “Very quickly, the kids were developing. I’d say they were more ‘ruddy,’ more coordinated. They were truly thriving within a few weeks of it.” And, so, they kept going. “I was noticing them balancing, climbing, trying something new always, challenging their bodies, without me ever having to prompt.” She also noticed that her children were staying healthy, with no major illnesses over the last 9 years.

Of course, there were always challenges. “It’s hard to get outside with little ones. Once you get outside, it’s easy – but the path there is not.” So, Ginny decided that they needed a goal. “You have to have a lot of grit to get out there, there’s planning involved. It’s cold, or it’s hot, or it’s buggy or rainy. There’s not that many perfect days. Having that goal has been key. Even though we’ve been doing it for 9 years now, I still need that goal for myself, otherwise I will just sit inside.”

1200, no…1000 Hours Outside

1000 Hours Outside logo

“I’m a math major – I’m a numbers person,” said Ginny. So, when setting her goal, she did the math. “3 days/week of 4 to 6 hours, plus additional time on the weekends and evenings as a family added up to 1200 hours, which is approximately the amount of screen time children are getting across the nation.” This provided a concrete balance for her and her family. So, they committed.

Throughout her weekly nature immersion time, she noticed that she, her friends, and their kids were the only ones in the park. At the playground, moms would come and go, but she would never see families out in the park during the week. “And when I say never, never.” 

Ginny wanted to share her family’s experience: their nature-immersion lifestyle was free, she was building great relationships with friends and with her children, and it was positively impacting her kids. So, in 2013, Ginny started a blog and gained a small Facebook following. 1000 Hours Outside (adjusted from 1200 for a catchier title) was born.

In 2019, someone asked her to start a Facebook group, so she did. Now, the official group has almost 10,000 members. Smaller, community-based 1000 Hours Outside Groups have popped up. Ginny said that someone just started a group in Hong Kong. Individuals, homeschoolers, child care programs, schools, families with working parents; the group has inspired many to get outside. “I’m seeing my simple experience replayed all over the world,” she says. “So many people commit to being outside and then realize ‘Oh my gosh, I love it, I feel better – this is a great way to do life.’” 

Her commitment continues to be to her family and their life together. Since their first day in the park in 2011, Ginny’s family has grown from 3 kids to 5, but their approach “is really the same. Nothing has changed. It’s the same, and it still works. My husband has been all for it. Our oldest child is in 6th grade. We’re modeling passion for our kids. We can help our kids learn through experience.”

What about screen time?

Ginny homeschools her 5 children in Michigan, and, like most, they are not an entirely screen-free family. For her, it’s about the balance. She comments on the busyness of childhood today, calling it a “rat race.” She wants her children to be resilient as screens become more pervasive, and a lot of that is helping them to see the joy in the outdoors. “When you take a child outside for an hour, or two hours, or four hours, you see how much hands-on, real-life experience happens in that time. They are missing that when they are in front of a screen. A 22 minute child program is over in the blink of an eye, but 22 minutes outside is filled with so much opportunity!“

5 children in snow clothes holding up bird feeders in snow

To paraphrase Richard Louv, nature amplifies time. For Ginny, it’s also about simplifying parenting. “I really think screens make it harder to parent: you’re dependent, they are dependent. Being outside teaches them to use their inner resources.” 

Ginny plans to participate in Screen-Free Week, May 4 – 10, with her family of 7 because “it really goes hand in hand with committing to being outside.” Screen-Free Week can be a mini 1000 Hours Outside challenge, too.

Doing the 1000 Hours Challenge

There are a lot of other number-based initiatives out there for getting outside, like the 52 Hike Challenge and 30 Days Wild, but Ginny says the “the unique thing about 1000 Hours Outside is that it accounts for the seasons of life; there are certain times where you are struggling or you are swamped at work or you have more babies. You can mold it to your own families. If that 1000 hour goal seems insurmountable, then change it. The intentionality really is the key.”

One single mom, who had their child 50 percent of the time, did the math and committed to 260 hours. Another family has decided to do 2020 hours in 2020. Some families, especially with infants, commit to 100 hours. Ginny encourages participants to meet their own needs and to determine what nature and outside time mean to them. It can be having a barbecue with friends or gardening on the patio as much as it can be about taking a hike in the woods.

One of the tools that 1000 Hours Outside provides is a chart for tracking. “Most of us are not purposeful about outside time,” says Ginny. “It’s about bringing it to the forefront. Sometimes that means having a chart on the fridge. The impact is lifelong.”

Ginny deflects the compliments about her work. “It’s not me, it’s the message. It’s the permission. Nature is enough. It’s a gift that we can slow down and really enjoy the years. And the kids will turn out alright.” 

The fear instilled in so many parents about doing it right prevents us from saying yes to so many opportunities. Can being intentional about screen-free, outside time bring joy and learning to your family? In Ginny’s words, “Well hey, try it.”

Books that Inspired
1000 Hours Outside

Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv

Balanced and Barefoot by Angela J. Hanscom

Smart Moves by Carla Hannaford

How to Raise a Wild Child by Scott Samson

Charlotte Mason’s Original Home Schooling Series by Charlotte Mason

Learn More about
1000 Hours Outside

Website: www.1000hoursoutside.com

Facebook: 1000 Hours Outside Official Group 

Instagram: @1000hoursoutside

Pro Tip: Join the 1000 Hours Outside Official Facebook Group for community, problem-solving, and great tips!

Join us for Screen-Free Week

Ginny and her family will be participating in Screen-Free Week 2020 from May 4-10. Join them and thousands around the world.

Take the Screen-Free Week pledge or register your SFW event today!